NOTHING BUT DISGUST

Yesterday I stopped to get something for dinner at the big food court in Deira City Centre. Two guys were sitting there eating their burger and fries with nothing to say to each other. One was a small, weaselly looking fellow, and the other was an older, crotchety looking man. After saying nothing and just eating their food for a while, the smaller guy abruptly said, "You know who used to hump ……?" …..I never found out who used to hump whom because my brain got stuck on the word "hump". Who actually uses that word when talking about sex? “HUMP” The only time it's ever used is when talking about bunny rabbits, or people who have lots of sex like bunny rabbits, or in the case of dogs having relations with a human leg.

"Dude, how was your date last night?"
"Pretty good."
"Oh yeah? Ya get humped?"

"Mary, how is your boyfriend?
"He's great. He humps me so good."


The way they went about with their conversation on 'Humps' was pretty disgusting.. cos i hate small talk... Dude if you know someone who did something with someone else. dont tell someone else what someone did with someone !!

so i guess I'll talk about something a little more disgusting...

I'll just talk about vomit.

The other day I saw pigeons eating vomit that was left on the sidewalk by someone. The ill person who couldn't make it to a bathroom in time must have had some vegetable soup before they got sick because the pigeons were gnawing on some carrots. It was pretty nasty looking, but I think that despite the fact that it was encrusted in vomit, that carrot was probably the healthiest thing a pigeon could find on a City street. This person who threw up... they couldn't make it to a bathroom, which is fine, because it's almost impossible to find a place that will let you use their restroom in the city, but they didn't even have the courtesy to puke in the street or next to a wall.

Apart from that There is something really amusing about people who vomit in the dark Alley’s behind garbage bins. It really can knock your self confidence down a few pegs. Even the rats stop to look at you, like, "Dude, that's fucking nasty." The best part about alley Vomiters is that they were usually out for a big night on the town, but now their night has culminated in expunging 400 AED worth of liquor, a piece of 3:00 in the morning pizza, and bile over the alley.

OK ...I'm done with vomit for now. Before I get sick myself..