MY FRIEND ARNOLD

There’s this teeny li’l brown sparrow that comes and sits on the window at home. I’ve named him ‘Arnold’ after Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold the sparrow is cute, so I give it a few cheese crisps sometimes. Yesterday there was an annoying black bird that was troubling Arnold. That got me worried.. what if Arnold fell off the window and got hurt or even fell to his death ? They should electrocute the black bird.

I don't have much of an opinion on the death penalty, but this stupid black bird should be killed. I often tend to sympathize with anyone who is being killed, including criminals, but I wouldn't give a hoot if they put this guy down. How do you trouble a harmless little sparrow? How?

At first I thought, Feed him to the lions!!! But that's too easy. Lions would kill him too quick. Feed him to the crabs. Feed him to the fire ants. Feed him to something that is going to take a long time. But not starving kittens, because that would be so cute! Imagine watching someone getting the death penalty, and everyone going, "Awwww."