Do you ever remember your school Principal…????
First off.. Im back.. I’ve just been very busy with work and home which haven’t spared me the time to post anything. Anyway we were talking school principal..
I just happened to remember my bouts of detention and suspension as a school kid. I’ve studied in a Boys School back in Goa and we had this extremely strict Principal who’d scare every kid in the school except for brave me, who just happened to be the kid with the highest suspensions in the day. These consecutive incidents are proof that for all the times I have been suspended it wasn’t entirely my fault. I always got blamed for something I didn’t do.
If you ever been in a fist fight with someone almost twice your size you’ll know what Im talking about. Im gonna call this guy “Shrimp”. despite the fact that I was comparatively tiny to get into a fist fight with anyone. I always ended up in fights with people much bigger then me.
Anyways, the first day I met Shrimp I thought he was a teacher. I wasn't watching where I was walking, just looking down at my feet when I bumped into Shrimp, I apologised, so Shrimp stared at me with glee thinking he’d found the perfect guy to bully, so I stared back with the “dare you” look hoping Id scare the bullying idea away. I then noticed that Shrimps nose was starting to run, so I gave him a tissue, and he used it then threw it at me, but I didn't catch it. All of a sudden this mean kid said "Shrimp, don't waste time with dumbass like you", he gave me the finger, and walked away. I then tried to give Shrimp the finger, but the school Principal (who Im gonna call “Dean”) saw it and said…
"Oh, so you're still upset that I suspended you last week?",
"No I'm not",
"then why did you give me the finger?",
"No I didn't",
"Are you calling me a liar?,
"No",
"Good, bring your ass down to the staff room immediately",
this scared me very much, and besides I wasnt gay, so I didn't go.
The next whole week I was home suspended. It was the only time I missed being at school. Just when I was glad to be back in school the next week I got suspended again. As usual not my fault again.
I remember walking into school that morning looking at the prettiest of all my teachers.. Miss Maryellen, I mumbled a "Morning Hun", she smiled the heart warming smile and kept on walking, so I watched her walk away, and I almost walked over “Dean”, which was not a good thing. “Dean” then yelled at me
"Why don't you watch where you're walking!",
"because I was watching where Maryellen.. err Miss Maryellen was walking",
"getting smart, huh?",
"I hope, because I have a test to pass next week",
"well guess what Glenn Antao, don't worry bout that test, because you're suspended! What do you say to that?", but I didn't know what to say.
" Im just back don’t you feel bad for putting me through this, I don't know what to say”
"try buh bye?",
so I did and spent the next whole week home again..
Enough of creepy school stuff in other interesting news theres a bird that’s built a nest on my window sill. Ive named the bird Duckie, and the 2 baby birds Rocky3 & Rocky4 cos they remind me of Stallone without his shirt. Ever seen a bird without its feathers. I got into trouble with shrimp once for calling him a skinned bird.
July 31, 2006
July 24, 2006
A SHORT STORY !!
It had rained incessantly for hours that day as the cloudy evening sky slowly grew darker into dusk. The streets were deserted with the waters slowly begining to rise, everyone had rushed home early, storm warnings had sounded on the radio. The wind howled as trees in the town-square bent precariously. The City suddenly gave the creeps of a Ghost town amidst a tropical storm. The deluge hadn’t ceased even as he walked out of his Studio after a 12 hour shift. It had been a long tiring day and the only thing that could brighten up his day was being with the woman he loved so much. The rain continued to pour relentlessly into the dark evening sky, He could wait no longer.
He wasn’t seeing the signs.. Signs that were pleading of him not to make the journey that day. He was still 60 kms from where he wanted to be. He gunned the Honda engine racing to be with the women he loved. The wind blew strong as the rain drops splintered his bare hands and hurt his eyes like shards of piercing glass. He just kept going speeding into the darkness. Visibility was zero as he made his way through the hills and the deserted Highway risking every submerged short-cut. Dodging fallen trees and entangled telephone cables. He tore through the falling rain, the lights on the bike hardly keeping pace with the speed. Clearly He wasn’t seeing the signs. His hands were numb and white as the rain worked like an annihilator on his skin. By now he was soaked and cold. But that wasn’t going to stop him.. He was still missing the signs.
The engine finally roared into the last bend in the road.. up ahead he would see the woman he loved so much.. It had all been worth it. With his hands now sore and eyes blood red. He found joy in finally being able to see her. He looked up at the sky and smiled laughing at the heavens as if telling them nothing could hold him from seeing her and the heavens thundered in disappointment.. The skies opened up again.. The entire village was under the cover of darkness as the Electicity lines snapped.. by now he should have seen the sign.. turned back and gone home..
The flowers he had carried were crushed and crumpled.. he brushed the petals trying to make them look beautiful again.. And then he winced in pain as the thorn stung through his now cold & numb hands.. blood trickled down as the crimson mixed with the rain. How Funny he thought.. “If you enjoy the fragrance of a rose, you must accept the thorns which it bears.” He didn’t see the signs. As the rain washed the blood away. He walked into the realms of the woman he loved.
As he stepped into the Porch water dripped down him like a mop just out of a bucket. he heard movements come from within the darkness of her house. The door was shut but not locked so he sneaked his way in, She was to be alone that evening. A mug of Hot-Chocolate by the Fireplace he thought. Just the two of them. The long day, the rough journey didn’t matter anymore. He was with her. He tip-toed into the darkness of her home thinking he’d surprise her. A dull glow of what was left of daylight made its way to the room through the windows. He strained his eyes to see her, hoping to surprise her. She didn’t see him come in. The sound of the rain drowning his foot-steps as he walked into her bed-room. Leaving a trail of water in his path. Finally he saw her.. sprawled across her bed. There she lay the girl of his dreams under the warmth of a blanket. So cute he thought.. as he began to walk towards her bed.. He heard her laugh.. so cute he thought !! Lightning flashed outside filling the darkened room with a burst of blinding light for just a split second, in that fraction he froze.. cold in the moment. he watched in horror as his world began to crumble.. Time stood still as he shivered in the cold. He thought about everything he went through just to be with her.. He didn’t see the signs.. Everything was much clear now. There she lay not alone.. with someone else.. Friend he screamed.. the words hardly leaving his mouth. His best friend and the love of his life..
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The post is ficticious and has no resemblance to anyone.
It had rained incessantly for hours that day as the cloudy evening sky slowly grew darker into dusk. The streets were deserted with the waters slowly begining to rise, everyone had rushed home early, storm warnings had sounded on the radio. The wind howled as trees in the town-square bent precariously. The City suddenly gave the creeps of a Ghost town amidst a tropical storm. The deluge hadn’t ceased even as he walked out of his Studio after a 12 hour shift. It had been a long tiring day and the only thing that could brighten up his day was being with the woman he loved so much. The rain continued to pour relentlessly into the dark evening sky, He could wait no longer.
He wasn’t seeing the signs.. Signs that were pleading of him not to make the journey that day. He was still 60 kms from where he wanted to be. He gunned the Honda engine racing to be with the women he loved. The wind blew strong as the rain drops splintered his bare hands and hurt his eyes like shards of piercing glass. He just kept going speeding into the darkness. Visibility was zero as he made his way through the hills and the deserted Highway risking every submerged short-cut. Dodging fallen trees and entangled telephone cables. He tore through the falling rain, the lights on the bike hardly keeping pace with the speed. Clearly He wasn’t seeing the signs. His hands were numb and white as the rain worked like an annihilator on his skin. By now he was soaked and cold. But that wasn’t going to stop him.. He was still missing the signs.
The engine finally roared into the last bend in the road.. up ahead he would see the woman he loved so much.. It had all been worth it. With his hands now sore and eyes blood red. He found joy in finally being able to see her. He looked up at the sky and smiled laughing at the heavens as if telling them nothing could hold him from seeing her and the heavens thundered in disappointment.. The skies opened up again.. The entire village was under the cover of darkness as the Electicity lines snapped.. by now he should have seen the sign.. turned back and gone home..
The flowers he had carried were crushed and crumpled.. he brushed the petals trying to make them look beautiful again.. And then he winced in pain as the thorn stung through his now cold & numb hands.. blood trickled down as the crimson mixed with the rain. How Funny he thought.. “If you enjoy the fragrance of a rose, you must accept the thorns which it bears.” He didn’t see the signs. As the rain washed the blood away. He walked into the realms of the woman he loved.
As he stepped into the Porch water dripped down him like a mop just out of a bucket. he heard movements come from within the darkness of her house. The door was shut but not locked so he sneaked his way in, She was to be alone that evening. A mug of Hot-Chocolate by the Fireplace he thought. Just the two of them. The long day, the rough journey didn’t matter anymore. He was with her. He tip-toed into the darkness of her home thinking he’d surprise her. A dull glow of what was left of daylight made its way to the room through the windows. He strained his eyes to see her, hoping to surprise her. She didn’t see him come in. The sound of the rain drowning his foot-steps as he walked into her bed-room. Leaving a trail of water in his path. Finally he saw her.. sprawled across her bed. There she lay the girl of his dreams under the warmth of a blanket. So cute he thought.. as he began to walk towards her bed.. He heard her laugh.. so cute he thought !! Lightning flashed outside filling the darkened room with a burst of blinding light for just a split second, in that fraction he froze.. cold in the moment. he watched in horror as his world began to crumble.. Time stood still as he shivered in the cold. He thought about everything he went through just to be with her.. He didn’t see the signs.. Everything was much clear now. There she lay not alone.. with someone else.. Friend he screamed.. the words hardly leaving his mouth. His best friend and the love of his life..
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The post is ficticious and has no resemblance to anyone.
July 22, 2006
GUILTY PLEASURES
Was a warm summer night home in Chandor.. a small hamlet in Goa.
I shut the door quietly with an uncertain resolve. The moment that I'd been waiting for all day long had finally arrived.
I turned towards the monitor and switched it on. The screen flickered into life as it flooded the relatively dark room with its bright rays.I turned down the volume rather hastily lest it alerted either of my folks. Once all the arrangements had been made,I settled down with my eyes firmly glued on the monitor.
A voluptuous woman started talking testily.I strained to hear what was being said but it didn't matter all that much as I had been through the rigmarole quite a number of times. Even then,some of the excitement was lost with the somewhat muted delivery. I cranked up the volume such that most of what was being said was audible.
Tiny beads of sweat glistened all over my face as I looked on towards the monitor with unwavering concentration.I was most definitely in a state of heightened perception.
Most of the introduction was done when my hands got to work. My face became flush with excitement as I continued to peer into the monitor. I tried to take in as much as possible because every single frame was vital. Atleast for me.....
As time went on, my hand movements became highly erratic.It was almost impossible for me to co-ordinate my movements with what I was seeing. Soon my fingers flayed all over the place...back and forth,sometimes to the right,sometimes to the left.It was safe to say that I was almost delirious with passion.
I could no longer keep up with the frenetic pace at which my hands seemed to be moving. My fingers felt tired and I let out my first pant for the night.
It isn't going to take me much more time, I thought to myself.
I should have stopped then and there but I had committed myself too far in to throw in the towel towards the climax of the night.
"Hem,hem.” Someone cleared their throat behind me.Startled, I looked behind anxiously.
A pair of angry eyes greeted mine.
I had been so enthralled with myself that I didn't hear Dad let himself in.
"I should have bolted the door....." , I thought to myself.But I was too eager: to start,to please myself.
"Stupid,stupid,stupid...",I cursed myself.
Dad looked towards the monitor and then back at me.I looked down somewhat shamefully.
What else could one have done ; especially after being caught red-handed.I couldn't possibly feign ignorance over the whole matter. I hope Dad understands. Even he must have done something terribly stupid back in his teenage years.
Marshalling my courage I looked up timidly only to gaze down again as Dad spoke out.
"Son,which part of "not using the playstation to play Tomb Raider after 11 pm" didn't you get?"
It's going to be a long night , I thought to myself...
Posted by: Glenn Antao
Was a warm summer night home in Chandor.. a small hamlet in Goa.
I shut the door quietly with an uncertain resolve. The moment that I'd been waiting for all day long had finally arrived.
I turned towards the monitor and switched it on. The screen flickered into life as it flooded the relatively dark room with its bright rays.I turned down the volume rather hastily lest it alerted either of my folks. Once all the arrangements had been made,I settled down with my eyes firmly glued on the monitor.
A voluptuous woman started talking testily.I strained to hear what was being said but it didn't matter all that much as I had been through the rigmarole quite a number of times. Even then,some of the excitement was lost with the somewhat muted delivery. I cranked up the volume such that most of what was being said was audible.
Tiny beads of sweat glistened all over my face as I looked on towards the monitor with unwavering concentration.I was most definitely in a state of heightened perception.
Most of the introduction was done when my hands got to work. My face became flush with excitement as I continued to peer into the monitor. I tried to take in as much as possible because every single frame was vital. Atleast for me.....
As time went on, my hand movements became highly erratic.It was almost impossible for me to co-ordinate my movements with what I was seeing. Soon my fingers flayed all over the place...back and forth,sometimes to the right,sometimes to the left.It was safe to say that I was almost delirious with passion.
I could no longer keep up with the frenetic pace at which my hands seemed to be moving. My fingers felt tired and I let out my first pant for the night.
It isn't going to take me much more time, I thought to myself.
I should have stopped then and there but I had committed myself too far in to throw in the towel towards the climax of the night.
"Hem,hem.” Someone cleared their throat behind me.Startled, I looked behind anxiously.
A pair of angry eyes greeted mine.
I had been so enthralled with myself that I didn't hear Dad let himself in.
"I should have bolted the door....." , I thought to myself.But I was too eager: to start,to please myself.
"Stupid,stupid,stupid...",I cursed myself.
Dad looked towards the monitor and then back at me.I looked down somewhat shamefully.
What else could one have done ; especially after being caught red-handed.I couldn't possibly feign ignorance over the whole matter. I hope Dad understands. Even he must have done something terribly stupid back in his teenage years.
Marshalling my courage I looked up timidly only to gaze down again as Dad spoke out.
"Son,which part of "not using the playstation to play Tomb Raider after 11 pm" didn't you get?"
It's going to be a long night , I thought to myself...
Posted by: Glenn Antao
July 20, 2006
PEOPLE WHO GO OVERBOARD ON THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
Don't you just hate it when you're having a conversation with someone and they won't stop doing bizarre things with their face? You feel like stopping them in the middle and saying, "what the ***k is wrong with you? Stop doing that weird thing with your eyebrow."
I was talking with one of my co-workers today, telling them one of my ultra awesome stories, and all they kept doing was nodding -- really really fast. And smiling. And twitching their forehead so it wrinkled up and I was like, so this is what 17 cups of coffee before 9am does to a person.
Can't you just stand there? Why can't anyone just stand there anymore and listen? Why must we react constantly to what the other person is saying? I don't want a reaction, I just want you to act somewhat fucking normal when we have a conversation. Is that so much to ask? I'm sorry if your innermost anxieties are deciding that now would be a good time to come out and be free, but I really don't need another Oprah moment next to the coffee machine. Not today.
Don't you just hate it when you're having a conversation with someone and they won't stop doing bizarre things with their face? You feel like stopping them in the middle and saying, "what the ***k is wrong with you? Stop doing that weird thing with your eyebrow."
I was talking with one of my co-workers today, telling them one of my ultra awesome stories, and all they kept doing was nodding -- really really fast. And smiling. And twitching their forehead so it wrinkled up and I was like, so this is what 17 cups of coffee before 9am does to a person.
Can't you just stand there? Why can't anyone just stand there anymore and listen? Why must we react constantly to what the other person is saying? I don't want a reaction, I just want you to act somewhat fucking normal when we have a conversation. Is that so much to ask? I'm sorry if your innermost anxieties are deciding that now would be a good time to come out and be free, but I really don't need another Oprah moment next to the coffee machine. Not today.
THOUGHTS...
He stared at the blank page and the blank page stared back at him. Neither of them liked what they were looking at but they continued to stare at each other, transfixed.
He was a writer although people who had read his works begged to differ. For him, the worst kind of a nightmare was a blank page though others told him that a blank page could symbolize a womb where words were waiting to come alive; it fuels your imagination, coaxes ideas out of you and nurses them till they are able to fend for themselves.
He stared at the page with palpable anxiety. His fingers trembled with trepidation as he cursed with vehemence. The page continued to stare back at him, taunting him, jeering at him and quite possibly rejoicing at his hesitance.
He closed his eyes as the fans whirred with silent ferocity. Think, he told himself. Think fool, think. He stayed motionless for a whole half hour, his breathing mirroring his mental prowess; ragged and coming out in bursts. His temples throbbed and his heart fluttered like a caged bird. He opened his eyes and stared.
At the blank page.
He made up his mind as his eyes flickered over the page, which were pregnant with thoughts, one last time; a harsh reminder of his impotency.
So long sucker, he told himself as his fingers did his bidding.
An Alt+F4 later all that remained of his failure was a flickering desktop.
He stared at the blank page and the blank page stared back at him. Neither of them liked what they were looking at but they continued to stare at each other, transfixed.
He was a writer although people who had read his works begged to differ. For him, the worst kind of a nightmare was a blank page though others told him that a blank page could symbolize a womb where words were waiting to come alive; it fuels your imagination, coaxes ideas out of you and nurses them till they are able to fend for themselves.
He stared at the page with palpable anxiety. His fingers trembled with trepidation as he cursed with vehemence. The page continued to stare back at him, taunting him, jeering at him and quite possibly rejoicing at his hesitance.
He closed his eyes as the fans whirred with silent ferocity. Think, he told himself. Think fool, think. He stayed motionless for a whole half hour, his breathing mirroring his mental prowess; ragged and coming out in bursts. His temples throbbed and his heart fluttered like a caged bird. He opened his eyes and stared.
At the blank page.
He made up his mind as his eyes flickered over the page, which were pregnant with thoughts, one last time; a harsh reminder of his impotency.
So long sucker, he told himself as his fingers did his bidding.
An Alt+F4 later all that remained of his failure was a flickering desktop.
July 18, 2006
One Love
The sunrays played tag with my curtains as it announced the arrival of a new day. Danielle had just woken up and lay beside me. Ahh Danille..... She has the prettiest eyes I have ever seen and the way she carries herself is so graceful that it is hard not to notice her the first time you lay eyes on her.She could have been with anyone but Providence loaded the dice in my favor.I could sense her loving gaze as she gave me an once over.She got closer towards me and rubbed gently on my chin with her nose.I gave her a hug and she responded with a lick.She then went on to give herself a nice good stretch followed by a good body shake.She nearly choked me with the amount of fur she shed with that body shake of hers.As I looked on,Daniellle bounded around the room in joy and anticipation.I guess I'll have to walk her sometime soon.So while I am away walking my dog...you guys enjoy your stay at my blog.And hope you guys have a rocking week!
PS : I do not have a dog named Danielle...
The sunrays played tag with my curtains as it announced the arrival of a new day. Danielle had just woken up and lay beside me. Ahh Danille..... She has the prettiest eyes I have ever seen and the way she carries herself is so graceful that it is hard not to notice her the first time you lay eyes on her.She could have been with anyone but Providence loaded the dice in my favor.I could sense her loving gaze as she gave me an once over.She got closer towards me and rubbed gently on my chin with her nose.I gave her a hug and she responded with a lick.She then went on to give herself a nice good stretch followed by a good body shake.She nearly choked me with the amount of fur she shed with that body shake of hers.As I looked on,Daniellle bounded around the room in joy and anticipation.I guess I'll have to walk her sometime soon.So while I am away walking my dog...you guys enjoy your stay at my blog.And hope you guys have a rocking week!
PS : I do not have a dog named Danielle...
How much of a moron do you have to be to get locked out of your own mail-box twice in one day? I changed my password today cos the old one was too simple.. by the time I signed in with the new I didn’t remember the changes.. thought hard and presto.. so I changed it to a more simpler one and now guess what.. I forgot the second one too !!
Sometimes, just when you think you're finally getting smarter, you do something incredibly stupid. Twice. In a four hour time span.
Stupid passwords. I hate passwords. passwords are the one thing you have to remember every single day of your life. They suck. Especially when you forget them because then you look like an idiot tapping your keyboard and filling forms and your buddies quietly think to themselves like-- wait, didn't we just see him filling the same forms two hours ago? Man, he really is a fucking idiot.
Sometimes, just when you think you're finally getting smarter, you do something incredibly stupid. Twice. In a four hour time span.
Stupid passwords. I hate passwords. passwords are the one thing you have to remember every single day of your life. They suck. Especially when you forget them because then you look like an idiot tapping your keyboard and filling forms and your buddies quietly think to themselves like-- wait, didn't we just see him filling the same forms two hours ago? Man, he really is a fucking idiot.
July 16, 2006
Maybe it's just me, but every single pair of shoes I own suck total ass. Don't get me wrong, they’re real expensive shoes and stuff, it's not the shoes but the freaking shoelaces that get me all worked up.
Every morning I triple knot these bad boys and every afternoon they magically come undone. I have no idea what kind of force of mysterious nature is behind this annoying phenomenon, but I will get to the bottom of it one day. And I'm always that guy.
You know that guy.
The guy who constantly gets told that his shoelaces are untied. People look at me weird as if I'm some moron who never learned how to tie his own shoe. And then I start this whole maniacal rant about shoelaces and how I triple tie them and how they come undone and how they should just shoot me for being so insane.
Then I become that other guy. The one people stay away from because he's always whispering obscenities towards his shoes. "***k you shoe! Stay tied. Stay tight. Why are you doing this to me shoe? Why?"
Every morning I triple knot these bad boys and every afternoon they magically come undone. I have no idea what kind of force of mysterious nature is behind this annoying phenomenon, but I will get to the bottom of it one day. And I'm always that guy.
You know that guy.
The guy who constantly gets told that his shoelaces are untied. People look at me weird as if I'm some moron who never learned how to tie his own shoe. And then I start this whole maniacal rant about shoelaces and how I triple tie them and how they come undone and how they should just shoot me for being so insane.
Then I become that other guy. The one people stay away from because he's always whispering obscenities towards his shoes. "***k you shoe! Stay tied. Stay tight. Why are you doing this to me shoe? Why?"
July 15, 2006
INCREDIBLY ANNOYING COUPLES
“Love sucks.”
Wait, let me rephrase that.
“People in love suck.”
Wait, still not there.
“People in love who feel the need to do absurd things in public suck.”
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Hurray! You finally met that one special person who lights up your life. You get to hold hands and cuddle and kiss each other on the smoochy woochie. Everyone thinks you're such a cute couple. And you are. Because you haven't gotten there yet. But you do need to be careful. After all, you do not want to end up like one of those couples.
-- The "let's make-out in public because everyone should learn from us" couple -- Probably the most annoying couple there is. They kiss. They cuddle. They feel each other up. And you're standing there, two feet away, wondering exactly how hard the stupid bell hit them at birth.
Look Hansel and Gretel, you're not exactly at the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ party. Why must you feel the need to disgust everyone around you by sticking fingers in places not sold in stores? Get a room. and.. and how can you actually lick each others faces.. I can understand you kiss and you tease but dont fuckin lick each others faces.. thats revolting!!!
--The "we're fighting in public but you're not allowed to look at us" couple -- The other day I'm standing outside my apartment building when I hear the following sentence; "Fuck you and that skanky whore bitch!" Now, call me Curious George but there's something about the words, "fuck, skanky, whore and bitch" all in the same sentence that makes me somewhat, well, curious.
So I gently look three feet to the left and make eye contact with, who I assume to be the opposite of Ms. Skanky Whore Bitch. She then proceeds to politely tell me to "mind my own fucking business." Excuse me? Mind my business? Listen up Peggy Sue, last I checked Dr. Phil wasn't staging a fucking intervention here on the public sidewalk. You wanna call out your man? Well then do it in the privacy of your own fucking insanity.
--The "we like to replace each others names with the word baby" couple -- "Baby, this doesn't fit right." "Well then baby, maybe you should return it." "But baby, then I have to go back to the store baby." "Oh baby, we can go together."
Baby, for the love of everyone who is not you -- please shut the fuck up! I actually stopped talking to two of my friends in high school because they never shut up with baby. Baby this, baby that. One day, I lost it. Big time. How do people not see that this obsessive use of the word baby is not only revolting and irritating, but it could cause severe homicidal thoughts from those around you?
So what kinds of couples incredibly annoy you?
“Love sucks.”
Wait, let me rephrase that.
“People in love suck.”
Wait, still not there.
“People in love who feel the need to do absurd things in public suck.”
------------------
Hurray! You finally met that one special person who lights up your life. You get to hold hands and cuddle and kiss each other on the smoochy woochie. Everyone thinks you're such a cute couple. And you are. Because you haven't gotten there yet. But you do need to be careful. After all, you do not want to end up like one of those couples.
-- The "let's make-out in public because everyone should learn from us" couple -- Probably the most annoying couple there is. They kiss. They cuddle. They feel each other up. And you're standing there, two feet away, wondering exactly how hard the stupid bell hit them at birth.
Look Hansel and Gretel, you're not exactly at the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ party. Why must you feel the need to disgust everyone around you by sticking fingers in places not sold in stores? Get a room. and.. and how can you actually lick each others faces.. I can understand you kiss and you tease but dont fuckin lick each others faces.. thats revolting!!!
--The "we're fighting in public but you're not allowed to look at us" couple -- The other day I'm standing outside my apartment building when I hear the following sentence; "Fuck you and that skanky whore bitch!" Now, call me Curious George but there's something about the words, "fuck, skanky, whore and bitch" all in the same sentence that makes me somewhat, well, curious.
So I gently look three feet to the left and make eye contact with, who I assume to be the opposite of Ms. Skanky Whore Bitch. She then proceeds to politely tell me to "mind my own fucking business." Excuse me? Mind my business? Listen up Peggy Sue, last I checked Dr. Phil wasn't staging a fucking intervention here on the public sidewalk. You wanna call out your man? Well then do it in the privacy of your own fucking insanity.
--The "we like to replace each others names with the word baby" couple -- "Baby, this doesn't fit right." "Well then baby, maybe you should return it." "But baby, then I have to go back to the store baby." "Oh baby, we can go together."
Baby, for the love of everyone who is not you -- please shut the fuck up! I actually stopped talking to two of my friends in high school because they never shut up with baby. Baby this, baby that. One day, I lost it. Big time. How do people not see that this obsessive use of the word baby is not only revolting and irritating, but it could cause severe homicidal thoughts from those around you?
So what kinds of couples incredibly annoy you?
July 11, 2006
Where the hell is computerization?
They say today’s life is computerized. Everything has been influenced by computers. I say “definitely no!”
For example, today morning I could not find my socks. If our lives were really influenced by computers…shouldn’t I be capable of pressing Control+F and find my pair of socks? Or for that matter… my cactus plant? Been looking for it all week. Cant remember where I’d last seen it.
Getting back to computers, umpteen times I would say something to people around me and immediately realize that in life there in no going back. That is to say, there is no Control+Z.
How much I wish there were a Control+Z in real life. So many issues could be sorted out. Like this friend of mine who when at a restaurant with his girl-friend, instead of saying: “A, you look hot today” said “M, you look hot today” … It was a small mistake. but the moment the words left his mouth hell broke loose.
My friend “R-Rose” would be so glad if the Control+Z really worked.
Or if you found a pretty girl sitting a little far away from you, you can just do a Control+C … Control+X would be smarter and then a Control+V to the seat next to you.
If our real lives were really as computerized, we could’ve just pressed F5 and refreshed ourselves in the evenings and rushed to parties. And when it was time for office, leave the disc….press F5, refresh yourself and be in office. But alas, that is not to be. And we are forced to make choices. Disc? Or office? If only a Control+A worked here! .
You are probably wondering why you reading this crappy Blog. Easy…try pressing Alt+F4.
They say today’s life is computerized. Everything has been influenced by computers. I say “definitely no!”
For example, today morning I could not find my socks. If our lives were really influenced by computers…shouldn’t I be capable of pressing Control+F and find my pair of socks? Or for that matter… my cactus plant? Been looking for it all week. Cant remember where I’d last seen it.
Getting back to computers, umpteen times I would say something to people around me and immediately realize that in life there in no going back. That is to say, there is no Control+Z.
How much I wish there were a Control+Z in real life. So many issues could be sorted out. Like this friend of mine who when at a restaurant with his girl-friend, instead of saying: “A, you look hot today” said “M, you look hot today” … It was a small mistake. but the moment the words left his mouth hell broke loose.
My friend “R-Rose” would be so glad if the Control+Z really worked.
Or if you found a pretty girl sitting a little far away from you, you can just do a Control+C … Control+X would be smarter and then a Control+V to the seat next to you.
If our real lives were really as computerized, we could’ve just pressed F5 and refreshed ourselves in the evenings and rushed to parties. And when it was time for office, leave the disc….press F5, refresh yourself and be in office. But alas, that is not to be. And we are forced to make choices. Disc? Or office? If only a Control+A worked here! .
You are probably wondering why you reading this crappy Blog. Easy…try pressing Alt+F4.
July 10, 2006
One of my friends password protected her site and lost access to it. Now that got me thinking-- what if we could password protect our lives.
Not our internet lives, but our real real lives.
"Hey Glenn, I'm gonna need those Designs for the GCC when you get a chance, boss wants to see them-- hello? Glenn? Why aren't you looking at me? Hello?"
"Nah man, Glenn's password protected his conversations so in order to talk to him you need the password."
"But I don't know the password."
"That's because Glenn thinks you're an annoying asshole."
Man, life would be great.
"Hey Glenn, did you clean up your bedroom? Glenn? Are you there? Tell me you password protected the phone as well? “Yeah Mom!!”
If and when I get married I’d have my wife scream … Hello? Asshole? You're gonna have to tell me the password or else I'm not having sex with you tonight."
Okay, so maybe some things would need to be worked out. But it could be so cool.
Lets have the creativity contest.. “May the best password protected Person win” comment on what you guys think could be best.. password protected… the best entry shall be awarded !!
Not our internet lives, but our real real lives.
"Hey Glenn, I'm gonna need those Designs for the GCC when you get a chance, boss wants to see them-- hello? Glenn? Why aren't you looking at me? Hello?"
"Nah man, Glenn's password protected his conversations so in order to talk to him you need the password."
"But I don't know the password."
"That's because Glenn thinks you're an annoying asshole."
Man, life would be great.
"Hey Glenn, did you clean up your bedroom? Glenn? Are you there? Tell me you password protected the phone as well? “Yeah Mom!!”
If and when I get married I’d have my wife scream … Hello? Asshole? You're gonna have to tell me the password or else I'm not having sex with you tonight."
Okay, so maybe some things would need to be worked out. But it could be so cool.
Lets have the creativity contest.. “May the best password protected Person win” comment on what you guys think could be best.. password protected… the best entry shall be awarded !!
July 09, 2006
And then you go to get out of bed and suddenly it feels as if, overnight, your lower back was used as a trampoline for the Fat Olympics. Body pain sucks. Whether it's a tooth-ache, headache, stomach-ache, legs, arms, elbows (okay, who really complains about elbow aches?) hands, fingers, neck, and of course -- the back.
To make matters worse there was 50 cent playing just as I switched on the Radio this morning. When I was a kid, my father always told me not to mumble when I speak. "Speak clearly and concisely," he would say. "Make sure the person with whom you are conversing can clearly understand you."
50centFor this reason is very annoying to me. First of all, he mumbles when he raps. I can't understand a fucking thing he is saying, with the exception of bits and pieces of his asinine choruses: "You can find me in the club..." And then he loses me. What the fuck was he trying to say? There are a lot of dumbasses in a club. So what?
On one of his other joints, the only thing I can make out is something about a candy shop. That's it. Quit fucking mumbling, jackass!
The other thing that absolutely grates on my nerves when I hear a 50 Cent song is the fact that he can't decide whether to rap or to sing. Make up your freaking mind! Whenever 50 Cent comes on the radio, I feel like taking a sledgehammer to it. For my own sanity, I change the channel.
I've been too busy to post posts... What's up with that? You're not too busy, you just don't know what to write about. Seriously, if you were too busy, guess what, you wouldn't be writing a fucking post about how busy you were because you'd be busy getting busy with whatever busy business is in making your life so busy.
To make matters worse there was 50 cent playing just as I switched on the Radio this morning. When I was a kid, my father always told me not to mumble when I speak. "Speak clearly and concisely," he would say. "Make sure the person with whom you are conversing can clearly understand you."
50centFor this reason is very annoying to me. First of all, he mumbles when he raps. I can't understand a fucking thing he is saying, with the exception of bits and pieces of his asinine choruses: "You can find me in the club..." And then he loses me. What the fuck was he trying to say? There are a lot of dumbasses in a club. So what?
On one of his other joints, the only thing I can make out is something about a candy shop. That's it. Quit fucking mumbling, jackass!
The other thing that absolutely grates on my nerves when I hear a 50 Cent song is the fact that he can't decide whether to rap or to sing. Make up your freaking mind! Whenever 50 Cent comes on the radio, I feel like taking a sledgehammer to it. For my own sanity, I change the channel.
I've been too busy to post posts... What's up with that? You're not too busy, you just don't know what to write about. Seriously, if you were too busy, guess what, you wouldn't be writing a fucking post about how busy you were because you'd be busy getting busy with whatever busy business is in making your life so busy.
With that -- I've been real busy lately.
But not blogger busy in that I'm really not busy, just out of things to write about. I'm busy busy as in these last five minutes have been my only down time for the past, I dunno, couple of days.
Posted by Glenn Antao
July 04, 2006
One of the many ways you can tell that humanity has evolved incorrectly is that there’s no real custom for how to react when someone coughs. Mostly people just ignore it. If someone’s really hacking up a lung, you might hear “Are you okay?” or “Do you want a glass of water?” But generally, there is no accepted phrase or expression.
This is in direct opposition to the sneeze, which immediately generates any one of several predetermined social responses--despite not being all that different from a cough in terms of noise or its overall disturbance factor.
That’s why you may hear very different responses to each:
SNEEZE: “Bless you!”
COUGH: “Get the hell away from me, germfarm.”
Posted by Glenn Antao
This is in direct opposition to the sneeze, which immediately generates any one of several predetermined social responses--despite not being all that different from a cough in terms of noise or its overall disturbance factor.
That’s why you may hear very different responses to each:
SNEEZE: “Bless you!”
COUGH: “Get the hell away from me, germfarm.”
Posted by Glenn Antao
July 03, 2006
Let's assume something for a second.
Let's assume that I was walking down an abandoned street late at night. Let's also assume that I had a wallet sticking out my pants with cash falling out periodically, was the whitest boy in a black neighborhood and was screaming idiotic drunk statements as far as the ear could hear. Let's also assume that in this part of the neighborhood, it could cost me my life.
Let's also assume that I did just that, came head to head with a group of bangers that make the WWE-wrestling guys look like babysitters. Let's also assume that they wanted to beat the crap out of me within one inch of my life. Let's assume there was no way out.
Well, except for one very specific way out.
Let's assume that these horrible, violent, criminal individuals gave me one chance to get out of it. They would let me live and give me free passage back to my nice warm bed if I would only dine with Britney Spears.
I would turn to them and say, "Please. Go ahead and beat the shit out of me now."
Britney is a nail-biting, trash-talking, digitally enhanced, clueless, annoying, value-devoid, frozen yogurt pounding, loud-mouthed, butter-faced goo-yah!
(Yes, 'goo-yah" is a made up word because there's no word to describe her in the way I have.)
As a Little schoolgirl with her pigtails and her over-modulated "hit me baby one more time." Her star rose higher and shone brighter than many as she took her hot looks and made her way to the top, primarily due to the almighty dollar as spent by 15 year old girls, and 45 year old men.
These days, you watch Britney Spears and you'll see one trainwreck after another. From her horrific TV show, that shows her in sequences no mother would ever want to see, to interviews as of late where all she talked about was the fact that she bites her nails all day long, thus necessitating fake nails.
Even though Paris Hilton is a no-talent, idiotic, austistic savant, these days I hold her in high regard compared to the Spearster. I dont know if you guys have heard her new album, but there are a couple of really good songs you'd never believe she's be able to pull.
And although just looking at Britney sickens me to the core and I would gladly take twenty hits to the face with brass knuckles before I ever have to spend any of my not so important evenings with her.
Let's assume that I was walking down an abandoned street late at night. Let's also assume that I had a wallet sticking out my pants with cash falling out periodically, was the whitest boy in a black neighborhood and was screaming idiotic drunk statements as far as the ear could hear. Let's also assume that in this part of the neighborhood, it could cost me my life.
Let's also assume that I did just that, came head to head with a group of bangers that make the WWE-wrestling guys look like babysitters. Let's also assume that they wanted to beat the crap out of me within one inch of my life. Let's assume there was no way out.
Well, except for one very specific way out.
Let's assume that these horrible, violent, criminal individuals gave me one chance to get out of it. They would let me live and give me free passage back to my nice warm bed if I would only dine with Britney Spears.
I would turn to them and say, "Please. Go ahead and beat the shit out of me now."
Britney is a nail-biting, trash-talking, digitally enhanced, clueless, annoying, value-devoid, frozen yogurt pounding, loud-mouthed, butter-faced goo-yah!
(Yes, 'goo-yah" is a made up word because there's no word to describe her in the way I have.)
As a Little schoolgirl with her pigtails and her over-modulated "hit me baby one more time." Her star rose higher and shone brighter than many as she took her hot looks and made her way to the top, primarily due to the almighty dollar as spent by 15 year old girls, and 45 year old men.
These days, you watch Britney Spears and you'll see one trainwreck after another. From her horrific TV show, that shows her in sequences no mother would ever want to see, to interviews as of late where all she talked about was the fact that she bites her nails all day long, thus necessitating fake nails.
Even though Paris Hilton is a no-talent, idiotic, austistic savant, these days I hold her in high regard compared to the Spearster. I dont know if you guys have heard her new album, but there are a couple of really good songs you'd never believe she's be able to pull.
And although just looking at Britney sickens me to the core and I would gladly take twenty hits to the face with brass knuckles before I ever have to spend any of my not so important evenings with her.
July 02, 2006
This post doesn't have a title except for the one I just wrote
Have you ever felt something weird happening?
It's a strange question, I know, and you don't really know where I'm going with it. Most of you will read on just a tad more to see if this post turns into something funny. Right after I finish this sentence, most of those most will drop out because you haven't laughed yet...and you can tell this is going to be one of his weird posts.
I'm surprised at the people who have made it this far. I'm not sure why, there are better blogs to read right about now. Someone just wrote something on their blog, the one with the catchy name - you know which - and it's this long story about the time their cat fell into the toilet. It's much funnier than this post. I'll understand if you want to click out of here now. This post isn't getting any better.
Hey. You're still here. Wow. Cool. Since it's just us, why don't I finish what I was talking about earlier. Ya know, the thing about feeling weird. It's hard to explain, right? Because you feel something and you know for sure you've never felt it before. Or maybe you have, but it was just so long ago now that only fragments feel familiar.
I want to call it an emotion, but I'm not so sure that's it. It's a feeling. Is a feeling an emotion? Does anyone know? And if they know, how can they be sure? Because it's what they think? I'm going to say it feels like an emotion. That's what I'm asking you. That's the something weird.
Well, have you?
Too crazy too too too too too crazy to blog right now!!!! I have like 15 posts saved as "drafts" because I haven't had a moment to sit down and chitter.
Howevs, we will return to regularly scheduled OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE AND BEYOND soon. I seriously look like a crazy strung out beggar from my recent lack of sleep and running around.
Howevs, we will return to regularly scheduled OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE AND BEYOND soon. I seriously look like a crazy strung out beggar from my recent lack of sleep and running around.
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