PEOPLE WHO GO OVERBOARD ON THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

Don't you just hate it when you're having a conversation with someone and they won't stop doing bizarre things with their face? You feel like stopping them in the middle and saying, "what the ***k is wrong with you? Stop doing that weird thing with your eyebrow."

I was talking with one of my co-workers today, telling them one of my ultra awesome stories, and all they kept doing was nodding -- really really fast. And smiling. And twitching their forehead so it wrinkled up and I was like, so this is what 17 cups of coffee before 9am does to a person.

Can't you just stand there? Why can't anyone just stand there anymore and listen? Why must we react constantly to what the other person is saying? I don't want a reaction, I just want you to act somewhat fucking normal when we have a conversation. Is that so much to ask? I'm sorry if your innermost anxieties are deciding that now would be a good time to come out and be free, but I really don't need another Oprah moment next to the coffee machine. Not today.