I HATE WRAPPING GIFTS

Call me a moron, but I cannot for the life of me figure out the proper way to wrap a gift. I have a cousin who can wrap a gift with her eyes closed and her hands chopped off because she's a girl and girls were born to do stuff like that. I could have a gift wrapping manual and a team of trainers guiding me through the process and the finished product will still look like something Santa threw up after a night of binge drinking and coke snorting.

Tell me if this sounds familiar -- when you finish wrapping the gift there's either too much paper or not enough. You always use way too much tape. You always put the bow in the spot that looks the most fucked up. At least one person makes fun of your horrible wrapping skills. Is this you? It sure as hell is me.

I wish all gifts could be "close your eyes" gifts. You know? Like, we don't have to wrap them, we just tell the other person to close their eyes and give it them. This way there's not some pile of wrapping paper to clean up and I don't have to look like a moron each time with my pathetic wrapping.