I think the only pets that people should have are pets that can catch a frisbee. Ideally in their mouths. So a dog is the pinnacle of pets and, say, an ant sucks. A frisbee just couldn't fit in the ant's mouth. I'm not even sure that they really have mouths.

I am a bad person. I did something terrible last night. I found a golf ball in a drawer and was rolling it around. That was when I saw an ant on the counter, which is a pretty odd thing to see in my apartment. Anyhow, you know that scene in Indiana Jones with the boulder rolling after him? Well, I decided to re-create some movie magic and roll the golf ball at the ant. Problem is I think the guy was sick or tired or something because there was no incredible chase scene, no cute little run, just the wet smoosh of the ant dying senselessly. I felt pretty terrible, so I walked out to my balcony and buried it in my cactus vase, with a little piece of watermelon because I know they like that.