I was at a barbeque party and met a girl (who could end up reading this) with the most hilarious phobias. She was afraid of heights, cats, and balloons freaked her out. OK heights I understand, but balloons and cats? The balloons it seems cos shes scared they suddenly burst. But cats ???

Much to her dismay there was this cat that strolled by us at the park and ofcourse, being, the good guy I am, I grabbed the cat and gleefully chased her around. I thought it was hilarious. She of course didn't.

That got me thinking, If an intelligence agency needed any kind of information that this babe had, they wouldn’t need to have a torture chamber. All anyone needed to do was to put her in a big tub with cats and suspend her with balloons high in the air. Heights, balloons, and cats all in one.. I thought it was brilliant. She didn't. Oh well.

They played that Shania song where she says something about being a little crazy and then she goes, "Oh-oh oh oh, I feel like a woman." Clearly some songs should not be allowed to be played in public spaces.

The reason I loathe this song, apart from the obvious (the obvious being the fact that it's ear poison), is that it gets stuck in my head for hours on end. So I'm walking back to my apartment and I'm practically singing to myself, "Oh-oh oh oh, I feel like a woman." And I don't know the other lyrics so it's just that line over and over.

I always had a fear that dead relatives can listen to my thoughts if they chose to, so I'd hate to have my grandfather be like, "Let's check in on what Glenn’s thinking about. Such a nice boy." Then he taps into my brain and hears "Oh-oh oh oh, I feel like a woman."