Dear Disgusting Bus Traveler,

Sleep is such a marvelous thing, isn’t it? Especially when you are stuck in travel. I can see you nodding so I’ll take it as a yes.

Oh, what’s that? You are nodding, yes, but nodding off to sleep. I get that because you are slithering your head all over my back like a bad rash. And if that isn’t bad enough, you also seem to be a dribbler.

What is a dribbler, you ask.

Well, a dribbler is almost like a cretin. He spews saliva a masticating cow and I wouldn’t put his IQ much beyond the cretin as well. For fuck’s sake, use a pacifier or suckle on your thumb. Not only would that help you in this dribbling business but you can then travel in the handicapped section, no questions asked.

The next time your head crawls over my shoulder, I’ll punch your in the *****. You can lose sleep over that. And please, wipe that silly grin off your face. We aren’t telling each other sordid tales of matrimony.

Ah, good! I can see you nodding. Hmm, you are beginning to resemble God’s remake of Pisa. Hey, wait, I’m not finished yet…