AS TIME GOES BY

Its gonna be another birthday alone, away from family & my best friends. Im suddenly beginning to feel alone & old. It’s like another chapter of my life coming to an end. The chapters which started when I uttered my first words, On my first day at kindergarten, when I checked out the little girls in class. The weirdly strict Tr. Durga, who used to slap me so much , she almost made a fingerprint album on my cheek. The Final exams which were great till the results came out. The terrible school choir which justified the invention of ear plugs. My Advertising Degree which made me realise how embarrassing I was to the Ad-world. My bike which was my first true love. The beautiful Computer teacher who was again my first true love.

My first memories of girls.. well since we’re at it. Here’s a little more in detail about the relationship I’ve had with girls.

My earliest memory are of my cousin-sister pulling my hair. Painfully digging her nails in my cheek. And then running to her mom to complain that I hit her. Not a perfect start.

I went to a boys school but the girls I saw in the train always carried water bottles and small bags and crayon boxes, colored silly color books (OK i accept, i graduated as an Artist). Still there were other things like they were well behaved & did'nt shout much. Did not spill food while eating. played stupid games on the playground in the evening where one would become a mother and someone became their daughter and someone became their mother’s mother.

By class 2nd , I had formed a mental banner which declared in a blinking neon sign - GIRLS ARE BORING.

School progressed. Class 6th.Class 10th.

Class XI seniors pick me out for ragging. They point at a group of girls and tell me to call one of them. I walk up to her and ask her to come. She does not care to reply and looks away. I lean and growl "Look lady. You may be pretty. Guys may swallow lizards & frogs if u order them to. But I have no interest in you or your friends here. I need to be a Rhino with a dozen Viagra shots to find you remotely attractive. I don’t want you. those seniors do. So just move." ok the people who know me will know i could never be able to talk like that. Anyway, i proposed to her.. five minutes later we went our separate ways..

The font size in the neon sign kept getting bigger and bigger..

That was the way it was.. Till 'she' breezed into my life.
She had a sense of humor. She had similar thoughts. She was mature. She was responsible. She was silly. She was simple. She was very human. For the first time, I sensed that girls have a "lipsticks-n-eyeliner" free brain. That they think of something beyond that. That they are as good human beings as anyone. Every tear I have caused her has left a streak on my heart.

After causing hurt to 'her',I intend to stay away from your world for a long long long time to come. I’m plain scared of again causing a lot of tears and hence have resolved to stay at a safe yet friendly distance from your domain. If earlier it was snobbish indifference, now it is a peaceful and quiet lack of interest…

…and I’ll be staying away as long as my neighbour stops her love songs! The longer she’s gonna continue the bigger the Font size on the neon sign is gonna get!!